Sex and the Baby Boomer with Heart Disease

It has become something of a comedic cliché: the politician dies of a heart attack in the throes of passion with a prostitute or his mistress. A thirty minute comedy or an hour drama can center around attempts to get the deceased out of the love nest without alerting the public, and/or his wife, about his hanky-panky. Today increasing numbers of women are experiencing heart attack or suffering from heart disease, so that cliché is outdated.

For many Baby Boomers, the cliché is not funny and is more a matter of dread than drama. The diagnosis of heart disease or the experience of a heart attack can seem to many men and women to be a sentence to life without sex.

It doesn't have to be that way. Thousands of heart patients have learned that having heart disease or heart surgery doesn't necessarily mean that a satisfying sex life must be only a fond memory. After the first phase of recovery is over, most patients find that the same forms of lovemaking that they enjoyed before are still rewarding.

The heart as a pump that receives incoming blood from the body through the veins, then pumps it back out to the body through the arteries. It regulates its pumping action with a complex arrangement of electrical controllers called pacemakers. The term heart disease can encompass any condition that affects the blood vessels, the pacemakers, or the heart muscle itself.

A significant component of heart disease is atherosclerosis, or narrowing of the arteries. When arteries become clogged with plaque, caused by the build-up of fatty materials, blood flows less freely and the tissues supplied by those arteries can die from lack of oxygen and other nutrients. When the tissue being supplied is the heart, the resulting condition is known as a myocardial infarction, or heart attack.

The survival and well-being of heart attack patients depends on how much of the heart muscle dies. The prognosis for people who have had a heart attack is drastically improved over previous decades, due primarily to advances in medicine, such as bypass surgery, angioplasty, and coronary stenting.

Much confusion surrounds sex after heart disease. The most common misconception is that resuming sex often causes a heart attack, stroke or sudden death. This simply isn't true. Statistically, the chances of having a heart attack during sex are about 2 in a million for healthy people. With those with heart disease, the chances are 20 in a million.

Usually there is no reason why heart patients can't resume usual sexual activity as soon as they feel ready for it. Sexual relations with a familiar partner is no more strenuous than walking up a flight of stairs, as long as both partners are relaxed and ready for love.

But “relaxed and ready” can be problematic. A heart patient may be ready, and may desire sexual release, but may not be relaxed about it.

Fears about performance and general depression can greatly reduce sexual interest and capacity. After recovery, heart patients may feel depressed. This depression is normal, and in 85 percent of the cases it goes away within three months. Please note that it is the fear and depression that cause the problems, not the sex. This fear and depression also tends to magnify any prior sexual problems between partners.

The partner of the heart patient may be “ready”, too, but not relaxed. He or she may have his or her own fears. They don't want to do anything that might endanger their loved one. They're not certain how interested their heart patient is in resuming sexual relations. They may think that they are being selfish even to want to have sex with their partner. They may be confused by the mood swings their patient goes through. They may even resent the changes in their life that heart disease has demanded. Not the least of these resentments may be caused by the assumption that they should not engage in sexual activity.

That is why it is vitally important that the partners communicate with one another.

Hiding your anxieties from the other may lead them to think that you are no longer interested in them. Trying to be strong and keep your fears from the other may just handicap both of you. Getting your fears, anxieties - even your resentments - out in the open will help you to know what you can deal with yourselves and what you will need to seek help for. For some, a talk with your doctor may be enough. Others may need marital counseling.

You and your mate or partner can prepare for sex by being open and honest with each other. It is important that each of you be more tolerant of your emotions and the emotions of your partner. Temporary mood swings are common.

It is also important that you maintain and improve your physical conditions and personal hygiene. Don't let heart disease be an excuse for letting yourself go and don't let letting yourself go be an excuse for no sex.

• Talk to your doctor first to make sure it's okay to resume your sex life

• Choose a time when you're rested, relaxed and free from the stress brought on by the day's activities

• Wait one to three hours after eating a full meal to allow time for digestion

• Select a familiar, peaceful setting that's free from interruptions

• If prescribed by your doctor, take medicine before sexual relations

• Don't rush - take it slow and ease into intimacy

This information is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice. CALL YOUR HEALTHCARE PROVIDER OR 911 IMMEDIATELY IF YOU THINK YOU MAY HAVE A MEDICAL EMERGENCY.